Reflection Time

Ok, so it has been a year that my life has changed. As most of you know Lauren was Surprise! And after a day of pure shock and several weeks of facing a tough decision -A very welcome surprise. I look at her across the living room (as she is walking in circles around the coffee table, talking to herself and stopping a quick minute to eat a cheerio or two that I have strategically placed around it) and I just can't help but tear up once in a while because I'm so proud of her- of all of us really. We have a wonderful, beautiful little girl who has been through so much already and she's only a year old! I realized the other day as I was telling someone the story of Lauren's emergency hospital visit, and was reminded again of how lucky we are to have her. I haven't told that story in a long time- but it did prompt me to get out some of Lauren's birth photos and look at them again. so for the sake of blogging, I'm just going to recap those events for a few minutes.

Lauren was born on April, 18 2006. The weekend before that I was visiting family in MN and was really sick. on the evening of the 18th, we went to the midwife's office and were directed to the hospital immeditally. Tim was asked if he could get me to the hospital faster than an ambulance could. He met the challenge! and succeeded with flying colors! (safely- of course!) Before we went into the hospital, I called my friend Wendi- and let her know the situation. Then the fear of the moment hit me and i had a few tears. Dried the eyes and Tim and I walked into the hospital hand in hand. Don't remember what was said, but we were laughing about something when we approached the nurse's desk to check in. Got in the room, got started on magnesium, and what do you know- my water breaks!?! wierd timing- so emergency c-section. Tim held my hand the entire time and we were talking with the doctor as he performed the c-sectin. Then the seriousness hit the room as Lauren came out with no movement and no breathing. Our hearts sank. I knew they were working on her over in the corner, but I couldn't see anything. I kept pulling the drape back so I could see, but they kept pushing it back. We knew at that point something was pretty wrong. It was a very tense 12 minutes. (yep- 12). I remember looking at the clock at the time she came out and it was 10:53pm. I looked at Tim's face to see if I could read his expressions and tell what was going on, but his face was blank. He was just starring at Lauren in the corner. Just when I couldn't take it any longer, I opened my mouth and was about to ask for an update, and the sweetest sound broke the silence! Lauren squeeked a little! That meant she was breathing (at least a little). The whole room seemed to exhale a sigh of relief. Sigh. And then- the moment I was dreaming about for months: I got to see my little girl!!! I cried- happy tears! This little part of me! I could have stayed in that moment for a very long time. I felt all this emotion inside, am I really doing this? Are we really ready? She is so beautiful! She's Mine? She's MINE! I felt like time stopped for hours. It was only for 2 seconds. The nurse brought Lauren over to me and told me to give her a quick kiss. I did, and then she was gone agian. I didn't even get to study my precious little daughter's features! I had to take a quick mental picture of her face, because I didn't know it, but I wouldn't be seeing her again for 2 whole days! I was so sick, I was placed in a dark quiet room, to avoid ceasures. Later that night, the nurse brought me a picture they had taken of Lauren and I never let that picture go. I knew Lauren was not in excellent condition, but was not prepared for the sights i saw when i saw her for the first time. I saw this little fragile person in her bed. A diaper way too big for her little 3lb body.With all that said, here are a few pictures of her in her first few days:












This was my engagement ring she was holding!